I am a writer.
I am a writer.
I am a writer.
It has been my life, since, well since I could form letters on paper.
I spent the first seventeen years of my life knowing I was a writer.
I spent the next four years being ashamed as a writer.
I spent nearly the next decade ignoring I am a writer.
And over 18 months ago, I had my moment. I was sitting on a scratchy blanket from my travels to Mexico as a 15 year old, listening to my pastor speak. The sun was beginning to set and cool off the hot day. And, something in the sermon struck me. I can’t tell you what it was or what sparked it, but I felt it deep down. I had a tunnel vision moment, that I have had rarely in my life. It felt as if God suddenly said to me “you will write.” I wrote it down in my notes, and I had trouble really following the rest of the sermon. I still don’t know why I had that moment, or what God’s plan is with my writing.
And yet, here I sit, facing a blank page with a blinking cursor. I still have to fight back the voices of criticism that swelled up and took over in my college years, but I’m here. And, I’m writing.
[…] When I stated before that I ignored writing for a decade, that isn’t entirely true. I still wrote in stutter stops here and there. I had given up on the hope of being a writer with a capital “w,” but I could never shake the need to write. More often than not, my writing devolved into personal essays about being a writer without a story. […]
[…] I’m not shocked by the statement, but it is statements like that keep me wrongly fearing man instead of God. When I tell people about my calling, I preface it with “I know this sounds crazy, but […]” because the reality is that the majority of our country does think it’s crazy to say you felt God speak to you. […]
[…] I used my stage of motherhood as an excuse not to write. I used my lack of a laptop as an excuse. But, that’s all they were, they were just excuses. Over the last five months, I have proved to myself that I can write with determination, hard work, and hundreds of hours in front of a desktop. I can do this writing thing. I am a writer. […]
[…] writing all of that above leaves me amazed. Less than eight months ago, all I had was a dream and a passion that God gave me. I didn’t have a story. I didn’t have a direction. I hadn’t made any connections in the […]
[…] When I felt called back to writing, I honestly thought God was insane. I knew I loved creative writing, but I had been unable to write for years. Anything I had written creatively since college was hidden in journals and notebooks, and I definitely had no desire for people to read through those. […]
[…] dreams (though that is a very nice fringe benefit). God has orchestrated this from the beginning: from telling me to write, giving me a story, giving me a writing group, giving me a critique partner, and showing me through […]