The Lord is my light and my salvation—

    whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life—
    of whom shall I be afraid?

Psalm 27:1

A few weeks ago, my pastor gave a sermon speaking to the fear of man versus the fear of God.

Merriam-Webster defines the kind of fear spoken of here as “profound reverence and awe especially toward God.”

Who we fear in this sense drives our motivations and our attitudes. If I fear man, I will go with the flow and not cause waves, even if it differs from what the Bible states. If I fear God, I will wholeheartedly follow Him with everything I have.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.

Mark 12:30

About a month ago, Joy Behar spoke of Vice President Mike Pence, saying, “It’s one thing to talk to Jesus. It’s another thing when Jesus talks to you.” *

I’m not shocked by the statement, but it is statements like that keep me wrongly fearing man instead of God. When I tell people about my calling, I preface it with “I know this sounds crazy, but […]” because the reality is that the majority of our country does think it’s crazy to say you felt God speak to you.

Yesterday, I was letting the fear of man get to me, and I prayed: “God, I feel crazy for thinking I can do this. I feel crazy for feeling like you called me to this.” I prayed, yet again, for reassurance and direction.

When we went to our Wednesday night service, I had a semi-open heart, but honestly thought that I wouldn’t get anything out of the sermon. The past month or so of sermons have applied so directly to my life that I thought for sure the streak had to be over. But, yet again, God met me where I was and told me exactly what I needed to hear.

Believe it or not, the sermon was all about working hard toward our calling in life.

That in and of itself made me stop and think “Okay, God, I’m listening.” There were a crazy amount of things spoken of that confirmed what I am doing and encouraged me to keep going, but for the sake of this post, I will focus on one verse he called out:

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters,

Colossians 3:23

It is my fear of feeling crazy that holds me back. It’s a basic human desire to feel wanted and included, but as a Christian, I’m missing the point. I’m not writing to generate lots of views, likes, and comments. I’m not writing a story so people read it and love it and make me feel successful. I’m writing this all to bring God glory. I’m working for God, not for other people.

And, if you think I’m crazy?

Well, maybe by your standards I am crazy. But, that actually gives me hope that God will be able to use me:

Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things–and the things that are not–to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him.

1 Corinthians 1:26-29