I have been in a writing funk this whole week. The end of May is swiftly approaching, and I am nine thousand words away from hitting my goal. I have zero inspiration, and it’s looking like I won’t hit 50k by the end of the month. It’s not big deal, but I hate missing goals. I’m a perfectionist and over-achiever by nature and missing goals discourages me. A lot.
I’ve been painting our “office” for the past two days, partly because I want it off my list and partly because I want to feel like I accomplished something. Painting takes physical endurance, not mental, so I was hoping it would clear my mind and allow me to focus on writing again. But, I just couldn’t turn my brain off, and all I could think of was writing more and how fast my deadline is approaching.
This past week has been a tangle of events that has led me to not be able to write. They’re all “normal” everyday events, and I was looking at these events and thinking, “if I can’t write through this week, I’m not going to be able to keep up writing. Weeks like this will happen, and I still need to be able to squeeze in writing.” I was (again) questioning if I was right about this being God’s will and whether I should push for writing as much as I am.
While I was painting, I turned on some music. A song popped up, and the lyrics struck me:
If You brought me this far
Wherever you lead me, I know you won’t leave me
Wherever you call me, you will make a way
Wherever we’re going, I will be holding
To the promise you have made
You will make a way.
excerpt from “Make a Way” by I Am They
Through this song, God once again spoke to me. This book is His, it’s not mine. It’s not my brilliance or inspiration that will cause this book to be completed, it’s His. And if this is what He wants me to be doing, He will provide a way for me to complete this book.
[…]being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion[…]
For what it’s worth, I did finish painting the office this morning, so I did check something off my list.